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Parents would like to have a choice
You can't compare two families to each other. Just as there are no two children the same, mothers and dads can have different opinions on this subject.
There are people who can not imagine a wedding with children. There are also moms who during the first months of life do not move anywhere without children - they work with babies hugged to their breasts, wear them in a sling, play and rest with the child by their side.
Some perceive the wedding as a family holiday in which several years can easily participate. Others cannot imagine even three hours with a child at a wedding. They do not want to make a problem and use every opportunity to go out alone, "relax from children, have fun."
Attitudes and needs are different. Just as different are weddings that can take place on important holidays, which often as parents want to spend with children, for example, Easter or Christmas. In addition, the wedding may be the only opportunity for the youngest to meet the long-unseen cousins or beloved aunt living abroad. It is also impossible to compare the child's behavior over the years, temperaments, upbringing - one child at the wedding will be almost imperceptible, will have fun and simply "take care of themselves", the other will require constant care, which can be tiresome for parents.
In addition, there is also the issue of leaving the child in custody when parents are going to the wedding. There are situations when grandparents (from both sides) and other potential guardians are also attending the wedding. Weddings are also often organized on New Year's Eve, Holidays, which significantly hampers (and increases the cost of) babysitting. All this means that sometimes parents simply having no other choice, would like to come to the wedding with the child.
Therefore, from the parent's perspective, it seems most convenient to receive an invitation to marry with a child / children.
It is best if the parent can decide whether to come with the youngest family members or without them. If he receives an invitation to include children, he is not put in an embarrassing situation and does not have to ask if the child can take (if he so chooses). He also receives a nice signal that children are welcome that they are not an "embarrassing guest" and young people just remember them.
"When I was in my second pregnancy, the eighth month, my husband and I received an invitation saying that young people reserve a room for us next to the wedding hall, in which we can put my son and which I can use when I feel worse. We did not use the room. We left our son with grandparents, and when I felt tired, we went to my parents. Although we did not use the Young option, the good impression remained. I remember that to this day. I admit that it was very nice that the bride and groom noticed our situation, thought about what to do to make it easier for us to come to the wedding and feel good at it. "- recalls Marta.
The young decide - a wedding without children
Of course, the Young Couple has the right to decide that the most important day in their life is to take place exactly as they dreamed of. Therefore, more and more often children are not included in the invitations. Their presence is treated as an obstacle, which unfortunately is not met with the acceptance of some parents, especially if the annotation "without children" is added on the invitation - which is perceived as lack of tact and crossing certain limits. In addition, weddings without children are considered less pleasant for some. Others, in turn, value them for their lack of clutter and harmony.
"A wedding reception is planned for Christmas ... I must admit that we did not like this date right away. I was sure we would get an invitation with children. After a few hours, the little ones would go to sleep with their grandmothers. Unfortunately, the invitation came only for us. I admit that we didn't like it. After talking to the future Bride, I found out that this is an adult party. And we gave up. It was a signal for us. We didn't go to the wedding, ”recalls Kinga.
What do children say about this?
Many little girls dream of going to the wedding and the reception to see the bride - or "princess", dance with the groom, bring wedding rings, sprinkle flowers. Many kids treat such an exit as an important event and want to take part in it, even a small percentage - by participating in the festivities until they go to sleep.
Therefore, it seems that it would be a good habit to invite whole families to the wedding (it is worth asking guests if they want to come with children so that they do not have to deal with such topics themselves). If young people have such an opportunity, it would be good to provide children with attractions - e.g. an animator or childcare on a given day - for example, a hotel room. However, if future spouses do not want children at the wedding, they have the right to do so. However, they must also take into account the refusal from those parents who consider that leaving their children on the guest list is not a tact for them.
And what do you think about it?
How should parents be invited to the wedding / reception - with children, without them? If without children, how to invite them to avoid offending guests and not to discourage them from coming to the ceremony? Or maybe not inviting older children is dictated by cutting wedding costs (younger children usually do not pay or the rate is symbolic)? Does this fact justify or change something?