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Why didn't anyone tell me that before I became a mother?

Why didn't anyone tell me that before I became a mother?

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Before I got pregnant, and actually before I gave birth to a child, I had an idyllic vision of motherhood. I don't know why, but I thought it was really simple. After all, women have been doing this for centuries, what a problem to give birth and later bring up "on people". We're made for that. Seriously, I thought so and I strongly believed in it. When relatives told me about fatigue, sleepless nights, I listened, but as if I hadn't heard. It didn't reach me, I was sure and I admit it today that they just can't do it. They are too poorly organized or just a little exaggerating, because it is certainly not so bad ...

After all, it is enough to ensure that the child is dry, fed and has proper sleep conditions. I did not consider everything that I realized after giving birth. I had no idea that I could stand on eyelashes, and my baby would not be enthusiastic about my efforts. Not because it is malicious, but because such are the children. Just.

Today, my naivety is somewhat amazing. I didn't know or didn't believe (I don't know what's worse) that ...

That you can't be a perfect mother, meet professionally and have plenty of time for yourself

Do you know it These idyllic visions of professional development after childbirth. These statements that the child does not bother in any way, that motivates, gives strength. Sure, it's true, but why does life write different scenarios?

After all, the reality is not as rosy as you try to convince us.

Maybe it is good that they are not afraid of young mothers, that they are not overcome with visions of insurmountable difficulties, that we are told that we can do everything, that we live in better times. Maybe yes. Often, however, the feeling that "you can reconcile being mom with being employee of the year", "that everyone is coping, it's just a matter of good organization" turns us on like a lump. And classically, we are starting to fall one by one into the trap of being the perfect mother, an employee who focuses on self-development a woman who never gets angry, on the contrary draws life from the handful.

Of course, after delivery you can develop.

However, you forget to add that you can't have everything all at once, that something always happens at the expense of something.

No one said me: you can have a great family and a great job, but ... not immediately, let it go a little, the world will not collapse, and the children will grow quickly.

That I will never be alone again

... that the child will always be with me, and even if he is physically absent, I will constantly think and miss.

It's amazing how easy it is to reconcile irritation and fatigue with a "child" with a rapid change of attitude when the toddler is out of reach.

Probably every mother knows it, when she has a baby next to her, she often dreams of going out, break out, breathe, but when she finally succeeds, she starts thinking ... about the child and missing.

That a child may cry even when he is sleeping, full and changed

Nobody told me that a child can cry for a million reasons. Not necessarily those most commonly talked about. There is no instruction that says that it's enough to do this and that will be fine. Therefore, I do not believe in any crying monitors, no intelligent solutions that are supposed to prompt the parent what the child is trying to communicate.

Yes, because it's true that the child is always crying for some reason. However, as a parent, it's worth coming to terms with the fact that often even persistent search for a reason for crying won't let you discover it ... And that's good too, sometimes it's enough to be and not go crazy when you don't know what's going on. Because even if the baby is crying and you don't know why, you are still a good mother.

That she usually cries when you really want her to be calm

I saw it many times, especially in the church on the occasion of baptisms - desperate attempts to calm the crying infant, passing the baby from hand to hand, trying to do everything to keep the toddler quiet. Unfortunately. Often, just when we care about a quiet afternoon, because we have something important to do, our delightful baby turns into a devil.

One thing is certain with your child - nothing is certain. You never know what the next day will look like.

That in the morning you can doubt whether you slept at all

Motherhood made me realize that you can sleep while remaining in full readiness, involuntarily controlling what is happening around you. This is an interesting state between waking and sleeping. You are somewhere in the middle. This has the advantage that you can hear every baby's song, but also the disadvantage - you are not resting fully. The result is that you wake up with a strange feeling of not sleeping at all.

That you may not notice the "milky" sleeve when going out without a child

I don't know if you also happened ... but I know from internet forums that it is quite common.

When you have a small child at home, it is difficult to fully control your appearance. Even if you try very hard. As a consequence, in the evening meetings on your black dress in all glory a white stain with milk is proudly streaked and brown stains on a light jacket, the sources of which it is better not to inquire.

That sleeping with a child often means sleeping with a heel in the eye

On the Internet you can find lots of sweet photos, on which mummy in impeccable makeup (!) Sleeps with her sweet baby. View like from the picture! What does it look like in reality ...?

Mum's disheveled hair, a wasted expression after a night full of accurate kicks on the part of the child ... one thing agrees: a charming expression on the face of a sleeping infant or small child.

That usually when you have a super important plan, your child will get sick

Murphy's laws are also valid in the parents' world.

When you agreed with your husband on the first trip without a child, most likely the toddler will not be able to sleep. When you planned a family trip, most likely the child will catch a cold. Going to friends? So diarrhea ...

Small children often get sick. There are children who have "only a runny nose" and immunity that even adults can envy them, but even a snotty nose can be the reason for a sleepless night or excludes the possibility of implementing a plan. It is not always possible with a cold child to visit or leave a child at home with a babysitter. Not to mention all those diseases that stick to bed or spread at the speed of light, like the infamous rotaviruses that bring diarrhea and vomiting.

That I will start acting strangely

The young parent is strange - especially for people who have this stage ahead of them.

How else can you identify a person who drinks cold coffee, enjoying a moment of silence, interrupts the stream of water every few seconds, listening to the child not crying, smelling his child's bottom, wiping the dirty face of the toddler with a wet finger, picking out the scroll residue and doing a lot of other things that are difficult to understand.

That I will turn on the vacuum cleaner more often than a TV

When I became a mother, I realized that you can work hard all day and you can't see the effect ...

Because you really have to survive to understand ... Although there is no guarantee in this situation. I don't know a harsher reviewer for a young mother like another mother.